Christian guilt. Something that every Christian faces at least a few times in their lives. Some non-believers think this is how God controls us. They think He uses this guilt to make us do good deeds, go to church, or be people that we’re really not. But God doesn’t want us to feel guilty. He wants us to live joyfully in the knowledge that He will forgive our sins.
When we have a mental illness, it tends to latch onto this Christian guilt and beat us with it until we end up either hating ourselves or until we start making excuses for why we did what we did. Here is a post I wrote about Christians with mental illness. We might hide from what we’ve done, making it all worse. This post is about how to stop Christian guilt from ruining our peace or our relationship with God.
When God decided to make us humans, He created us in His image, but that’s where the similarities end. He didn’t want us to be clones of Him, but creatures that could think, feel, and make decisions. He hoped that we would want to follow Him all on our own.
Since we are not God, and therefore completely imperfect, we screw up. A lot. If I were God, I know I would’ve given up on me a long time ago. But, since God is love, He gives us another chance, no matter how many chances He’s given us. When we confess our sins, He forgives us and lets it go. We don’t even have to deserve it because, quite frankly, none of us are deserving of His forgiveness or love.
You can’t hide from your mind, as much as we all would love to at times. If you’ve done something that causes you guilt, like a sin of some kind, you may just want to try to forget it ever happened. No good ever comes from trying to bury your feelings. If it is a sin that’s making you feel guilty, it needs to be confessed before it can be let go.
We might try to justify it in our minds to make it seem less bad. “I had too much to drink and then drove. I may have hit a dog on the way home, but that’s the owner’s fault for letting it get out. Sure, I feel bad for it, but I probably would’ve hit it anyway, even if I wasn’t tipsy. It came out of nowhere.”
Denying sins may make us think it will go away, but it’s causing a lot more damage. Eric Redmond from Christianity.com wrote an article on how to deal with Christian guilt biblically. The first thing we need to do is to stop denying sins. There are four common ways we do this.
We’ve all heard of the seven deadly sins. I think most of us have been guilty of all of them at least once before. I know I have been. These are sins that can too easily be re-classified as bad human behavior that doesn’t count as sin. But it’s still a sin.
“I lost my temper at work, but I was just having a bad day” (wrath).
“I can’t believe she got the promotion over me. I’m so much better at this job. They only gave it to her because she’s a woman, not that I’m a sexist” (pride and envy).
“Yeah, buffets make it hard for me to control myself. I’m addicted to food!” (gluttony).
“I just like to flirt!” (lust).
“I may have padded this bill a bit, but I have kids to send to school!” (greed).
“I could go help out at the rummage sale for the homeless, but I worked all week. I’m just going to stay home and veg out” (sloth).
Calling a sin something else doesn’t make it something else. Denying the sin isn’t going to help solve Christian guilt
Disclaimer: I am in NO way making light of the serious illness that is addiction. That is a disease that requires specialized help. God knows those struggles and He wants you to get the help you need. What I’m talking about is the people who mask their self-control issues when they COULD stop if they wanted.
Sometimes people think its okay to do something they know is wrong by saying, “God knows that I’m truly a good person.” So every time they sin, whether its lying, using the Lord’s name in vain, or taking part in other sins, they make themselves think that it’s okay because they’re “truly good.” Even if you think that it’s okay, ask yourself if God does.
This is where you know that you’re doing something wrong, but don’t seem to care. If you drink too much and flirt with people when you’re married to someone else, that’s sinful. It doesn’t matter if you say, “Hey, I’m just a friendly drunk!”
Remember that no one can make you do anything. If someone makes you so angry that you use the Lord’s name in vain, that’s still on you, my friend. YOU chose to say those words. No one made you. If you steal just because you feel entitled to, that’s still a sin.
When we make excuses for our sins, we’re trying to avoid it. Just like with any feeling, the more we try to hide from it, the more powerful it becomes.
Not one single person in this world is perfect. We all make mistakes. While I’d never say it’s okay to sin, we all do it. Think back on the last few days. How many times did you sin? Right off the top of my head, I can think of at least 20 ways I acted in very non-Christian ways. I judged people, I lost my patience, I felt sorry for myself. I was lazy and gluttonous enough to steal Easter candy from my daughters.
Think of times that you’ve sinned. This isn’t to add to your Christian guilt, but so that you can acknowledge it and let it go. Maybe you feel like you’re failing as a Christian. You’re not alone in that feeling. Spend some quiet time with God so that you can reflect on areas that you feel you failed so that God can give you the strength to live more fully in His way. He wants to help you!
If you’ve hurt someone, it’s good for both of you to be able to put it behind you. We all make mistakes, say things that hurt feelings, make snap judgments, and make selfish choices. If you’re feeling guilty about something, talk to the person you wronged. Apologize. Explain how you know why your behavior hurt them. Ask how you can make it up to them. If they can’t forgive you or need more time, give them space. You’ve done what you can. Now it’s up to them whether they want to forgive you or not.
Back to Eric Redmond’s article, confession of sin is an important part of being a Christian. He says that we shouldn’t confess in general terms (forgive me of my sins), but use specific actions that we did (I yelled at someone at work, using the Lord’s name in vain, because they didn’t do something my way).
At the risk of sounding like Captain Obvious, God doesn’t like it when we sin. It blocks our relationship with Him. But since He is all loving and always willing to give us yet another chance, if we confess our sins, He will forgive us.
Jesus died on that cross for a very specific reason. He took the stain of our sin so that we can be washed clean of it. The fact that He did this for us shows that God doesn’t want to dwell on our sins. He doesn’t want us to feel guilty. Redmond says, “When we confess our sins, the work the Divine Son of God did on the cross comes and takes our objective guilt, leaving us no reason to feel guilty.”
God cleanses us from sin when we confess. Isn’t that amazing? Even though not one single person on this Earth deserves it, He forgives us and cleanses us because of His love.
Work a nighttime reflection period into your bedtime routine. Think over the day. Where did you fall short? Ask God for guidance. Then confess for those specific sins. I’m not going to lie, before reading Eric Redmond’s article, I used to use a blanket statement every night that I prayed. It went like this, “Please forgive me of all my sins. I know I fail You multiple times every day and don’t deserve Your forgiveness, but thank You for loving me enough to forgive me anyway.” I thought that was good enough. Now I know better. I’m working on taking the time to think through the day and confess those sins. And you know what? I’ve already felt a lot more peaceful.
God cleansed you of the sin. You’ve asked the person you wronged for forgiveness. Now it’s time to let it go. I know that your anxiety and depression are going to latch onto it with all their strength so that they can use it as a weapon to make you feel like a terrible person. You are not. Pray on it. Ask God to take your guilt away. He is your most powerful ally against your mental illness. Continue to tell yourself that God forgave you and now you can forgive yourself.
Think hard about God’s love. He created us and, even though we mess up all the time, He never stops loving us. As hard as it is to absolve your Christian guilt, He already has absolved you. You’re going to make mistakes. I’m going to make plenty. He is still going to love us. Take comfort in the fact that He is always by your side, loving you, guiding you and forgiving you.
All my love!
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Loved this article! Back when I was dealing with severe depression I thought that God hated me. I thought I was an ungrateful person. Christian guilt really got to me. I'm blessed now to see that I was trying my best and God always loved me. I'm so glad this blog discusses how Christianity affects depression. It's a common struggle!
Thank you so much, Rachel! I'm happy you can now see that God has always (and will always) love you! Sending you hugs and prayers for continued peace!