It sucks, doesn’t it? Having a mental illness at all is torture. But having one as a Christian adds a little (sometimes a lot) of extra pain. Why can’t God take this away? I feel like I trust Him with all my heart, so why am I so worried all the time? Why do I have to live with this much despair and hopelessness when He wants us to be joyful and hopeful? Did I do something wrong? Is He punishing me? My dear friend, God isn’t mad at you.
Here comes the disclaimer: I’m no theologist. I’m not a priest, minister, or other Christian leader. Some people can pull perfect scriptures out of thin air and, well, that’s not me either. What I am is a Christian that fails multiple times every day. I’ve struggled with doubt and restored my faith. There are days when my anxiety and depression have more power than my faith. But, what I truly believe with all my heart, is that God loves us entirely through our mental illness. I’m hoping to prove it to you.
There is this misconception that being a Christian automatically means that we should be joyous all the time. But it isn’t possible for any person, Christian or not, to be constantly happy. Life is hard. Sometimes it is nearly impossible. God isn’t mad at you for struggling with the hardships of life, even if they take over your mind in the form of mental illness. If you’d like, you can read my post on how it’s okay to NOT be okay as a Christian.
To sum it up, having a mental illness does not make you less of a Christian. However, your faith can help you on your darkest days. Always remember that God isn’t mad at you, He wants to help you through the hard days. He doesn’t want you to be sick, but He does want you to bring your troubles to Him. Because He loves you.
I’ve been reading a lot of scripture for this post. One thing is quite obvious, we humans are an anxious/depressed bunch. It seems that the Bible is fraught with a lot of people coming to God in their time of failing, stumbling, worrying, and despair.
Christianity.com has an article about what the Bible says about mental health. They talk about how Elijah, the prophet, had suicidal thoughts and asked God to take his life away. He did not, but He gave him the strength to endure. The words anxious, fear, and worry show up multiple times in the Bible. SO many verses talk about how God wants to support us. Here are a few!
“Say to those with an anxious heart, ‘Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with a vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you.” – Isiah 35.4“Don’t you be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be anxious, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you.” – Isiah 41:10
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries for tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” – Romans 8:38-39
“Cast your burden on the Lord – He will support you. God will never let the righteous be shaken!” – Isaiah 41:10
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and of a sound mind.” – Timothy 1:7
Psalm 23. All of it.
It’s hard to admit when we’re struggling with our faith. Anxiety loves to grab onto any tiny whiff of doubt and run with it. Then, when we start doubting our faith, that’s when we start feeling like terrible Christians. But we’re not. Then there’s our friend depression. Depression can make it impossible to believe that we have our all-powerful God on our side. But we do.
God never stops loving us, even if our faith wavers. He knows our hearts, our minds, and our souls. Pray for His help in erasing any doubt so that we can live fully in His purpose for us. Pray, pray, and then pray some more. Try to set aside some time each day to pray and think about all the many blessings He has given us.
One thing that a lot of mentally ill people struggle with is focus. Sometimes it’s really, REALLY hard to focus on praying. I know my head is SO full sometimes that even if I have a plan for exactly what I want to pray about, that plan will be instantly replaced by other things. I’m sure that God doesn’t need to hear what I need to get at the grocery store or my musings on whether or not I washed enough work scrubs to get me through the week.
You could try to make praying into a special moment between you and God. Light a candle, listen to some soft music, and concentrate on your conversation with God. I have a “prayer template” that sometimes helps me focus on praying (though I fail quite a bit still). My template looks like this:
Thankful moment (it just be thankful for surviving the day)
Concerns
Try to find some sort of template that works for you. My prayers were (and I’ll admit, still are at times) turning into “Ummmm. What was I going to pray about? Oh yeah! Please watch over this person that’s struggling with ….” Mind wanders for an embarrassing amount of time, “Oh shoot! So sorry God, anyway…”
God isn’t mad at you if you pray like that. He knows our hearts and minds, as well as our struggles and concerns. It would still be nice to get those thoughts out in some sort of coherent and efficient manner. I once heard that praying to God is a lot like having coffee with a friend. Try to make prayer time all about spending time with Him.
God isn’t mad at you. I promise. Mental illness, doubt, wavering faith, straying, there is nothing in this world that God won’t forgive you for. I know your anxiety is telling you that He isn’t real. I know your depression is telling you that if He is real, He wouldn’t love someone like you. Never forget that your mind lies to you. A lot. All of the time. God loves you. He cares about you. He wants you to get better. God will give you all the strength you need.
All my love!
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