Maureen

Fighting the Mental Health Stigma: What YOU Can Do

May 29, 2023

“It’s all in your head.” “Be tougher” “Mind over Matter.” “You’re too sensitive.” “Why can’t you just be happy?” How many times have you heard that sort of thing? How many times have you thought of these types of things? It’s okay. I’ve done it, too. We live in a world that praises those that keep fighting through their physical illness. And we should. It does take a lot of strength. But when it comes to mental illness, that’s a different story. Fighting the mental health stigma takes one step forward and then several steps backward every time. You’ll never hear anyone tell a cancer survivor that they’re weak. Of course, they’re not. But someone that chooses help over a suicide? Attention seeking. Manipulative. A Debbie Downer.

Whether you have a mental illness or not, it’s important for everyone to be aware that they’re a lot more common than people think. If you’re not afflicted by one, I would bet dollars to donuts that you know someone that is, most likely several someones. They just may not admit it. That’s why it’s extremely important for everyone to stop judging people and join in on fighting the mental health stigma.

History of the Mental Health Stigma

I’d love to say this stigma is a new thing, therefore easy to overcome. But it isn’t. The history of the mental health stigma goes way back, so far that we don’t even know how or when it started. But, as Jeney Caddell writes in her verywellmind.com article, we do know why it started. Mental illness used to be thought of as a mark of the devil. How could you sympathize with someone you thought was possessed? It was also thought to mean that you did something to deserve that type of pain.

We’ve been fighting a losing battle against stigma for a long time. We at least know how that the devil is not behind it. It is not a punishment from God. A lot of medical research has proven that sometimes mental illness comes from chemical imbalances in the brain. Just like a body that doesn’t produce enough insulin can become diabetic or cells that mutate and multiply can become cancerous, when we don’t produce enough chemicals (such as serotonin, dopamine, etc), we can become depressed.

There’s a sort of shame attached to mental illness. While we’ve come a long way, people still feel like they should be able to talk themselves out of anxiety and depression. While it’s true that we can control our minds to an extent, when our brains are sick, sheer will isn’t going to fix it. Think about a broken arm. You should be able to move your arm up and down. But if it’s broken, you can’t. Would you get angry at yourself for not being able to move it when you’ve seen the x-ray of your shattered humerus? Do you think you should be able to just will your bone to heal? Why should mental health be SO different than physical health?

Because of the damn stigma.

The Danger of the Mental Health Stigma

It’s no surprise that mentally ill people have a lot to contend with. A lot of it has nothing to do with the actual illness, but to that damn stigma that’s attached to it. In the article I mentioned earlier, Ms. Caddell lists all of the potential consequences of that stigma. I’m going to go over a few here, but check the link out to read more.

Delayed treatment

That was me! For years and years (and years), I hid my anxiety and depression. The sad thing was, I KNEW that mental illness had nothing to do with weakness. If anyone else told me they were struggling mentally, I was quick to offer sympathy and support. For whatever reason, I wouldn’t offer myself the same. They were strong for living with it. I was weak because I couldn’t control it. There’s that stigma again.

Because of Mr. Stigma, people tend to delay getting the treatment they need, making it really hard to get their illness back under control. Or worse, they never get it at all. How many times have you heard of a person committing suicide without a single person knowing that they even had depression? People are afraid to get help because they don’t want anyone to think they are crazy or weak.

Harassment and isolation

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people still out there that refuse to believe that mental illness is real. While the person is already suffering so much, they have to hear these ignorant people call them attention-seeking, lazy, weak, etc.

Then there are the people on the opposite side of the spectrum who absolutely believe that mental illness is real, but are terrified of those that have one. They seem to think that anyone with a mental illness is going to be just like Joaquin Phoenix’s character in The Joker and end up shooting everyone in sight.

Both types of people make the mentally ill person even more afraid to seek treatment or at the very least, tell someone that they’re suffering. They end up feeling even more isolated than they already felt.

Diminished quality of life

When a person tries to hide their mental illness, they end up suffering so much more. Not only are they mentally ill, but they have to act like they’re not. Panic attacks are suffered in private. Emotions are bottled up so tightly that they cry themselves to sleep at night (quietly if they sleep with someone).

The fact is that some people are going to need treatment, whether it’s therapy, medication, or even hospitalization. Otherwise, they are going to suffer endlessly and unnecessarily. The shame of their illness is going to cause just as much, if not more, harm as the illness itself. That’s why fighting the mental health stigma is so important.

How You Can Help

Everyone should be fighting the mental health stigma. Verywellmind’s article says that one in four people have some sort of mental illness. If you’re one of the lucky ones that don’t, a quarter of the people you know do. This most likely includes someone you love dearly. As a matter of fact, if you’re reading this, I can almost guarantee that mental illness has touched your life in a difficult way. Here are a few ways you can help.

Educate yourself

Read up on some of the common mental illnesses like anxiety, depression, bipolar, PTSD, OCD, ADHD, etc. Read about the signs and symptoms. Listen to a podcast on what it’s like to live with these illnesses. Ask your mentally ill loved one what they’re going through. Knowledge leads to understanding, which leads to compassion for the people that are suffering every day from these demons.

I wrote a post about coping with depression and learning coping skills for anxiety. If you’d like to read them, they offer insight into what it’s like living with these two conditions.

Try REALLY hard not to judge

Okay, I’m going to have to be 100% honest here. As someone who suffers from mental health issues myself and as a person that prides herself on being an advocate for mental health, there are still times when I’m a little judgmental and salty. There was this nurse I used to work with that had panic attacks every time she was asked to do something she didn’t want to do. She often left early, leaving us short-staffed. We often had to cover for her when she was at work because she needed frequent breaks. We were never surprised when she didn’t show up for work, often multiple times a week. When she did work, she did the bare minimum, never helped anyone out, and constantly whined about her life.

I couldn’t stand her.

I don’t feel great about that admission. How can I say that I supported every mentally ill person when this girl bugged the hell out of me? I’m sure her mental illness WAS out of control. She had physical health issues on top of that, which I’m sure made coming into our crazy busy office extremely difficult.

But, here’s the thing. We are all human. Some people are going to get under our skin. That’s okay. All we can do is try our best not to judge, even if we fail sometimes. Try to keep an open mind and remember that no one really knows what anyone else is going through. Everyone could use that reminder occasionally.

Be honest about your own mental health

As I said earlier, one in four people have a mental illness. That’s only the diagnosed people who will admit they have a problem. Think of all the people standing firmly on the side of, “I don’t have depression. I’m just sad.” or “Sure, I worry a little (a lot), but it doesn’t keep me up at night (it does.”

Then there are the people that constantly make fun of mentally ill people because they can’t possibly admit that they, themselves, are not okay. I know a person who was laughing because his doctor asked him if he was depressed, “I’m not depressed. Life sucks and I know it, but that doesn’t mean I’m depressed.” Are you sure?

Really think about your own mental health. To be honest, do you have healthy coping skills for stress? Do you worry or obsess over things excessively? How’s your sleep? Do you take care of yourself? I’m not saying that you are, in fact, mentally ill, but I bet there are times when you’re not at your strongest mentally.

Reach out

A lot of people think that it’s not any of their business to pry into other people’s lives. If they needed you, they would say so, right? Usually, that’s not the case though. People tend to horribly isolate themselves during a mental illness “flare.” That’s one of the things that make these illnesses so complicated. Some people desperately want the support, but simply can’t ask for it.

If there’s one thing I want people to take away from this post it’s this: never, ever be afraid to check in on people. I know, sometimes it’s hard not to assume that people just want to be left alone. But no harm ever came from simply asking people how they were doing.

There is a very sweet doctor that I work with. I remember there was a day he asked me how I was doing. After giving my usual, “I’m okay” response, he asked with genuine concern, “Why just okay?” The fact that he cared at all blew my mind. It got me thinking if there were more people like him, this world would be such a better place. What he did wasn’t hard or intrusive, he simply cared.

I’m not asking you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. But, try to reach out to people in ways that you are comfortable with. Ask them how they’re doing. If they say that they’re struggling, ask if you can help. Most people won’t bare their souls in response to that “How are you?” question. But, the simple knowledge that someone cares can make a huge difference.

Speak up

There are always going to be people that just don’t believe that mental health issues exist. They don’t understand, nor do they have any desire to. But that doesn’t mean that everyone feels that way. If you hear someone making fun of someone with a mental illness, don’t be afraid to say something. It doesn’t have to be confrontational, but saying something along the lines of, “I don’t know, I think it would be hard to have to deal with being trapped by your own mind all the time.” Some may still sneer, but some people might actually think about it differently.

We need to start talking more about mental health. Yes, there are a lot of campaigns and PSAs about it, which is INCREDIBLE. Every time I see one, it makes me so happy. But, for some reason it still seems to be a taboo subject for a lot of people.