This is a letter to all the new nurses that stepped out of school and into hell. I am so sorry.
Dear new nurse,
Nursing has been and always will be a sink or swim career. You learn pretty quickly on that first day that first day that you know nothing. Where did all that knowledge from nursing school go? Why can’t you remember a normal hemoglobin when you spent hours memorizing normal lab values?
New nurse anxiety happens to every nurse, but it’s so much worse for you. When you started nursing school, I bet you never imagined that you would graduate in the middle of a global pandemic.
Get ready to be jealous
I vividly remember the kind, patient and encouraging preceptors I had at both the nursing home and my first hospital job six months later. I was so lucky to have them there to hold my hand as I took my first (super) wobbly steps into the real world of nursing.
Even with their patience and encouragement, I still felt inept, clueless and just plain stupid. There must have been some mistake when they gave ME a license. I probably had the gentlest possible start to my career and I still felt like I made a terrible mistake by becoming a nurse.
Your start is so very different than mine
I can only imagine what it must be like for you. The ink is still drying on that nursing license you worked so hard for, only to be thrown into THIS. While I’m sure some of you adrenaline junkies are loving it, I bet the majority are beyond terrified. It’s not fair.
Whether you’re on a Covid unit or not, this is a horrifying time to be a new nurse. It’s a terrifying time to be a nurse at all. No one should have to step out of the classroom and into the battlefield where, at any moment, your patient could crash or you could be exposed to the virus. Nurses and other healthcare workers have spent days/weeks in the hospital as a patient. Some have died fighting this virus.
I’m sure a lot of you have thought about quitting. No one would blame you. I thought about quitting every day for the first few years of being a nurse and I wasn’t always risking my life or my family’s lives by going to work. I have absolutely no right to tell you to stick it out.
I’m going to anyway.
If you can, try to hold on and hang in there.
Remember that everything you're going through has a purpose
The experience you’re building is going to make you an unstoppable nurse. Sure, you might be struggling to start IVs and fumbling with getting your PPE on in a way that you can do your job. You may have a blank, mortified stare when your preceptor asks you why lactated ringers would be better for this particular patient than normal saline.
You may spend a lot of time crying in the bathroom, in your car as you try to will yourself to go into that hospital again, or even right there on your unit (been there, super embarrassing). You may get yelled at by a stressed out doctor or even your preceptor because you’re in the impossible position of learning the real world of nursing during the absolute worst time to be a nurse at all. The learning curve that all new nurses should have is not there for you.
You're going to be a super hero
Your brain is soaking all this new info in (I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it is). If you can just ride out this coronavirus insanity, the nursing knowledge and skills you gain are going to put you light years ahead of a lot of nurses, myself included.
Think of how amazing it will be in a few years when you’re precepting a terrified new nurse. You can tell them (kindly please) that if you could learn the ropes of nursing during the coronavirus fiasco, they surely can do it in normal conditions. They’re going to learn so much from you, not only nursing skills, but how to manage stress, how to be a true team member and how they can survive no matter what the shift throws at them.
As horribly difficult and unfair this is for a brand new nurse, you’re already seeing just how bad it can be. Imagine how easy a normal shift is going to be for you when the pandemic is over! It’s going to be a breeze because you’ll already know how to handle things when they go really, really bad.
You're fulfilling Florence Nightingale's dream
I don’t think it’s a mistake that 2020 has been deemed the Year of the Nurse. Nurses are stepping up all over the world to care for the sick and dying, no matter the risk to themselves. Nurses that have been away from the bedside are coming back to fight. We’re doing the job that Florence Nightingale predicted we would. We should all be proud of that. Personally, I have never felt more proud to be a nurse.
Take care of yourself!
Disquiet Deliverance is a blog about mental health, so it would be silly of me not to at least mention the importance of self-care, especially in these times. It’s easy to get caught up in the adrenaline of the shift, go home and (hopefully after a thorough shower) either want to go straight to bed or want to pull the books out so that you’re super prepared for tomorrow’s shift.
But, I want you to take a few minutes after your shift to decompress. Think about what you learned, what you did well, what you want to improve on. Please, please, PLEASE try really hard not to focus on all the things you may have done wrong or forgotten. I know it’s frustrating when you feel like everyone else is doing better than you. Believe me, I’ve been there. To this day, I could get 10 IVs on the first try, miss that 11th one, and feel like a failure. It’s much easier to focus on the things you didn’t do well, especially if you have anxiety or depression.
Those little bullies in your head are always going to tell you you’re not cut out for this career. Try really hard not to listen to them. Focus on the things your preceptor praised you for. Think of the times you made a patient more comfortable or made them smile. Those little moments in the midst of the insanity is where that passion you had for nursing lives.
Be sure to take care of your physical self, too. Eat some good, healthy food. Drink a lot of water. Sleep as much as you can. Take a hot bath to soothe those aching muscles (that’s good for your mental health, too!).
Take care of your fellow newbies
You, along with all the other new nurses, have a unique start to this career. You’re all going through things I can’t imagine. There could be some nurses on your unit that don’t quite grasp the particular hardships that you’re going through. Unfortunately, there are going to be some nurses that abide by the “nurses eat their young” mentality.
This is why it is so very important to support each other. You’re probably in touch with at least some of your classmates from nursing school. I mean, it’s hard to go through all that without forging some friendships. You may have made friends with other new nurses on your unit or at your facility. Lean on them and let them lean on you. Vent, complain (HIPAA compliantly), support and encourage each other. You’re going to help each other get through this.
We are SO proud of you!
There are so many experienced nurses out there that are watching you with such pride. We see you showing up every day, no matter how scared, no matter how exhausted, no matter what new nurse anxiety is doing to you. It may not seem like it, because most nurses are also scared and exhausted, but we’re behind you. I know some of you are absolutely miserable right now. But I’m here, cheering you on. I’ve been a nurse for six years now, but I bet you could already teach me things.
Please try to hang in there and know that this is a temporary thing that is going to catapult you into being an incredible nurse. By next year, you’re going to be the one people come to with questions and you’re going to answer without hesitation and with confidence. I’m so proud of you.